Comfort
At Six Flags: Fiesta Texas in San Antonio, there’s a new roller coaster called Dr. Diabolical’s Cliffhanger that just opened this summer. It’s currently known to have the steepest dive in the world, with a 95-degree drop from 150 feet in the air. Essentially, it’s scary.
When I was younger, I had a paralyzing fear of heights that prevented me from fully enjoying any sort of adventure above 10 feet. I avoided high ropes courses, feared flying, stayed away from the edges of the Empire State Building and, of course, sat and watched as friends and family rode high-thrill roller coasters. My fear was taking opportunities away from me and hindering my sense of adventure — so, naturally, I decided to stop fearing heights and forced myself into scary, uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing situations.
Though I don’t actively fear heights now, that doesn’t mean I prefer to be dangling at 150 feet in the air. And when I arrived at Six Flags with Pastor Eunice and her daughters for a quick Saturday trip, I took one look at the Cliffhanger and said, “That’s the one ride I won’t go on today.”
You already know which ride was the first one we went on.
I was very obviously reluctant to go on the ride and definitely said multiple prayers while waiting in line. I forced myself to not look down as we climbed up to the world’s steepest drop (!!!) and literally dangled for what felt like much longer than a few seconds. And as my stomach plummeted and my heart (probably) stopped, I screamed and laughed alongside my friends and walked off the ride dizzy, but grinning.
Clearly, this ride was very much outside of my comfort zone. But what prevented me from planting my feet and skipping the ride was the knowledge that rewarding things lie outside of our comfort zones — in this case, a dopamine hit and the bragging rights that I rode the roller coaster with the steepest drop in the world.
There’s not much about this trip to South Texas that was comfortable. I spent most of my days speaking a second language and struggled to navigate social dynamics when you can’t quite understand everything happening around you. Within the first hour of waking I was covered in a layer of sweat and dust, and for the first half of the trip I didn’t have daily access to a shower. I slept with cockroaches on my walls, I removed dead rats from the kitchen and swiped at ants crawling on my feet. I even helped lead worship by playing electric guitar (which I treated like an acoustic) and often only knew which chords to play by watching the fingers of the guitarist next to me. The songs, of course, are in Spanish, so I hadn’t heard most of them before my first week — essentially when I started my role in the band.
But as I reflected on my six-and-a-half weeks in South Texas while flying back to Pittsburgh last Thursday, I started to clearly see how this lack of comfort created rich, fertile soil for growth. I’ve watched myself become stronger and more confident in my own abilities, and I’ve noticed how challenges have consistently led to more wisdom and humility. Even at Six Flags, my experience with Dr. Diabolical and his little scary coaster gave me the confidence to go on even higher, faster and loopier rides.
I had grown comfortable in Pittsburgh. I could see my best friends nearly every day, I lived in the same culture I grew up in and I’d seen approximately one cockroach and two rats in the five years I’ve lived there. I think God knew it was time to lead me to an unfamiliar (and hot) place so that he could teach me more about his creation, show me the different ways his love manifests itself on Earth and open my eyes to how he’s working in my heart.
I’m leaving these moments and this place with so much gratitude in my heart. I hope these reflections have at least encouraged you to view things familiar and unfamiliar with new perspectives. Thank you so much for choosing to be a part of this experience with me.
Much love,
Katia
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Katia is serving in South Texas from June 19th – July 29th, 2022 as part of our Leadership-Development Program. Her ministry involvement consists of photojournalism work, serving alongside local organizations in South Texas, and supporting our mobilization summer program.